By Maria Isabel Pita © 2012
Maria—I read your interview by Robert Waggoner in the March 2012 issue of the Lucid Dream Exchange and it was fascinating. I found it interesting that when you fell or collided with things in a LD (lucid dream) that you felt pain. I’ve had the exact opposite experience; I would sometimes deliberately fall from great heights, and run into every possible object on the way down, because I experienced the most intense sexual ecstasy on impact.
It wasn’t until just the other night that I experienced pain in a LD, and that’s when I got caught in some electrical wires, oddly enough, because I see you experimented with that in LD recently. But I agree wholeheartedly with what you say about energy.
Peter—Dreams at the level of energy and light are where I want to put effort into for a while. The mixing of my energy body in the dream with other expressions of energy that can be called up or encountered at seeming random is very interesting to me. The wires are one of a few small barriers in dreams that I am aiming to smash through by tackling them head on, and then I can break a few barriers to explore deeper or further.
Maria—I agree. But isn’t everything fundamentally an expression of energy? I’m thinking you mean energy that isn’t ‘muffled’ as our physical body is, for example? ‘Higher’ or more ‘naked’ manifestations of energy? I imagine that encountering them can have an effect on your mental and physical energy levels?
Peter—You are correct, I think of energy as the basic form of light and the vibration that I associate with it. All the characters in my dream sketches, if they have a character in them, are fragmented swirls of energy, or a body starting to melt away in a swarm of light. It‘s how I see myself in these dreams and why I always use the term ‘energy body.’
When I put one hand into a wall it tingles and vibrates and at other times something will be repelled like magnets pushing against each other. The dreams where I dissolve into the void are like this, I lose the ‘me’ and become energy and pure awareness. It‘s the oddest feeling and so very hard to do justice to with words.
Maria—I too have experienced different sensations when going through a wall in a lucid dream, and once me and a female dream character played like human dolphins in a milk-white ‘liquid’ mist free of gravity and yet in which I couldn’t speak, and which transformed into the waves of a dark moonlit ocean as we emerged from it, the waves almost looking like the jaws of black whales coming for me but it was in no way frightening.
However, I have yet to experience an energy body, to feel myself as swirls of light. More than once I have not been aware of a body in a LD, not really, but for me everything was darkness, no light at all, and I experienced something akin to the ‘peace’ associated with what Robert Waggoner calls ‘Clear Light Dreams’:
I’m happy to realize I’m in a dream even though I can’t see a thing. Darkness and the sense of moving forward at a great speed adds up to a sense of peace and contentment. The darkness seems to concentrate in a center like the spokes of a wheel where I discern a faint but distinct orange light/circle, what I saw the other day looking directly at the sun with my eyes closed. I have no idea where we’re going but that thought doesn’t even cross my mind; I’m there and I’m going, but being there is the same thing as traveling.
I had a similar experience lying in my rec room wearing earphones and a sleep mask listening to a shamanic drumming CD:
I found myself remembering the time, years ago, when I was lying on the hood of my car, which was parked in front of the ocean at night, and how as I lay gazing up at the stars I came to feel the ocean tide was my breathing and the sky was my chest and the moon was my bare shoulder caressed by the black cape of clouds… and then I saw the moon spinning, spinning around the earth, and the earth spinning, spinning around the sun, and I was spinning, spinning into the heart of the sun and then… there was darkness… and then I was out, out, at the far reaches of the universe, where it was all dark, with just the faintest glow as of dying suns like dim bedside lamps still lit as you’re preparing to go to sleep for the night.
It was so utterly peaceful out there, so restful… black holes were like pet serpents. It was really, really nice out there, utterly calm and soothing, no pressures at all and yet at the same time a sense of endless potential and all the time in the world to exercise it and yet no concern for time at all. When the call back signal began sounding, I was reluctant to head back.
In ancient Egypt, Darkness was called Atum and the stars, light, were ‘his’ eyes. To me light is something whereas darkness is nothing and yet the latent seed of everything.
Peter—Darkness is a bit like the vacuum of space – either nothing or the substance that holds it all together. I read this somewhere and it is nice as it implies that vacuum in not emptiness but substance and where the planets and life exists.
In these dreams I get objects, normally rocks of crystal or gold, and if I pick them up, of their own accord they will seem to glow and turn into a vibrating mass and get very warm. Sometimes they catch me by surprise and I reject them, at other times I let them proceed for a while until the experience gets too intense and then I wake up.
Maria—That’s really interesting. So you just let them glow and vibrate and lose their object shape? Have you ever tried asking the dream what’s happening to them?
Peter—Not yet. When a rock or a lump of gold (I can recall picking up some gold on a river bank after I used my hands to dig around in the sand) starts to glow it radiates energy; it’s more than a color change. One time the gold felt like a small sun, it seemed to vibrate and then radiated some light and heated my hand, which began glowing as well.
The feeling is one of being taken over and is a total body experience and very invasive. The feeling was one of starting to melt away. I feel it requires a total submission to the energy that I was not ready for. It is a common occurrence in my dreams and one that I am now ready to tackle and submit to.
Another goal is to let these puddles of energy consume me; they are what I call ‘energy portals’ and will lead somewhere, I suspect, to more, or to the void and the light experiences I have a lot of, but I hope also deeper and deeper into the dream space and to more understanding of our basic nature.
Maria—Perhaps you could channel just some of the object’s energy into yourself for a specific purpose? It seems to me you already understand our fundamental nature, which is formless energy. And yet something gives energy form, something that is energy as well as its source, a creative power latent to absolutely everything.
So the way I see it, you’re looking to go deeper into your own creative powers? To learn the laws of the mysterious-magic process of shaping and forming energy into worlds and forms?
Peter—I don‘t think its correct to try to channel the energy into my dream body for a purpose as it feels more that the energy will change me in some way and has a purpose of its own and this may be why it is so hard to give in to it. I am not in control and don‘t want to lose whatever intent may or may not be attached to, or part of, the energy.
When the dream puts me in the bodiless state, and I have awareness but no sense of ‘me’ but exist as pure light or energy, it may be the same state as the energy radiating out from the rocks or gold and, if so, I want to see what it will do, not use it for my own purposes. This is what I am wanting from the dream world, to get away from some self-serving purpose and explore or connect with another awareness, part of myself or beyond myself, I don‘t know yet.
I feel that I am near to gaining a new depth in my dreaming by giving in to these energy events, they seem to come to me more than my asking for them, but I am ready to start requesting them now. What I like is that they are beyond what I call the ‘playground of the dream’ and deal with energy and light in a very basic and powerful form.
I recall one dream where I asked two dream characters to show themselves as they really are and they went from people to animals. I then said that they could stop pretending as I am okay with whatever their basic form is. They then turned into small balls of vibrating light that seemed to radiate a lovely energy.
Maria—That’s brilliant. By ‘a lovely energy’ I get the impression you mean a lovely ‘feeling’? And the way you phrased it ‘their basic form’ is interesting, because it implies that light itself is a form. Maybe if you had asked these two dream characters what they truly are, the result would have been a formless darkness?
Peter—Yes, that captures it quite well. It gets deeper and deeper, or more basic, and I don‘t know if I want that in some way so the dream presents that to me, or if I get closer to the source of the dreams or a state that is stripped of waking life images and perceptions. It may be another trick of the SC (subconscious) but the times when I become light with no sense of ‘I’ are… LOL – can‘t find words.
These experiences can leave me glowing with a sense of well being for days as they seem to change me. It’s not a positive feel good change but a very deep sense of change and an inner glow that lasts.
Maria—I can imagine! Such experiences surely constitute the most profound ‘vacation’ from the stresses of material incarnation as you experience your true formless, infinite ‘nature’ existing beyond everything because it is everything. I will be very interested to see where your intents lead you in these dreams.
To be continued.