The Golden Cloud
Wake up around 4:30….Spontaneously, a sacred song arises. As I sing, I hear the whirring round my head. I feel the ‘heavens part’ or ‘the seams on my soul being undone,‘ as Avila describes it, but again, my being hovers in an intermediary space for some time. I sense a pull on my being as if it were a boat tugged by a strong current and yet tied to the shore. Finally I call out, ‘Take me to you, Lord!’ and my being releases onto the rushing black light and winds. As usual, my words surprise me. They seem to come from some place other than my mind, perhaps my heart.
On the winds, I ‘see’ before me a new light structure: all perspective lines lead to a V-shape of blue and white effervescent light lit up like a sparkler on New Year‘s Eve. As I approach this vortex of light, I feel unsure of what to do with my ‘arms,’ whether to open them to the light or bring my ‘hands’ together in prayer. A voice says, ‘Just be,’ so I remain still while carried on the winds. But something feels missing until the Lord‘s Prayer bubbles up from inside my being. This prayer takes a great deal of concentration, and a part of my mind worries the effort will take me out the experience. But then it feels like the prayer seizes me and together we burst into a realm of gold.
The golden radiance has unusual dimensions. I imagine it feels akin to being inside a limitless, bright piece of amber…. In the distance, I ‘see’ an immense golden cloud, the richness of which stands out even against the backdrop of gold…. The cloud hovers over the horizon expectantly. I know it is the Lord. My heart leaps up. Two immense, silhouetted angelic guardians open up a golden path between them. The holy winds carry my being through innumerable worshipful shadows dappling the golden light, past the ‘gate,’ and ever nearer to the golden cloud.
Approaching the cloud, I become aware of an achingly beautiful piece of music. It feels unknown to me and yet strangely familiar, full of layered, mirrored harmonies and motifs…. Nothing I have ever heard on earth shares its texture or depth. It feels as if the very fabric of the space and golden light around me is the very source of this music and that the music is particular to this form. The cloud‘s light of music surrounds me communicating a perfect balance of paradoxical qualities: tremendous power and petal-soft tenderness, simplicity and profundity, mercy and might, justice and compassion, longing and fulfilment, immanence and transcendence.
But the dominant quality in this golden cloud feels like a mysterious richness in the shadows of which rests a deep humility reminiscent of the shadows within the rose…. Suddenly, I realise that the piece of music sounds like a variation on the tune to the Lord‘s Prayer from my prayers. I wonder if the Spirit hears my simple rendition this way. The desire to create a musical score so that others can share in this rendition of the prayer fills me, but since I lack the ability to do that, it strikes me that I‘ll just have to bring this music into life through actions. The music accompanies me back towards waking consciousness.
In addition to the qualities outlined previously, this dream highlights the importance of ‘focus’ in Lucid Surrender, a kind of inner alignment of our deepest desire with what the Kabbalistic tradition calls ‘The Highest Will.’ This reminds me of a question Avila framed in her poetry: ‘What is God‘s will for a wing?’ The response: ‘Every bird knows that.’ As an indication of such inner alignment, a reciprocal relationship between the dreamer and dream appears.
As the ‘Golden Cloud’ dream illustrates, music plays a key role in focusing the heart and mind, deepening lucidity through a balance of feeling and thinking toned qualities. A Latin inscription on a table in the (painting) ‘Alchemist‘s Study‘ illustrates an axiom of the Lucid Surrender approach: ‘Sacred music disperses melancholy and evil spirits.‘ This adage works as a leitmotif in the dreams. Like music, such dreams spring from the heart. In my experience, the more you can ‘let go‘ in experiencing surrender, the less you consciously ‘try,‘ the more likely you will succeed.
Even if you do not feel any attraction to the idea of the Divine as depicted in the dreams I‘ve shared, you can call on a particular person that represents your ideal and on qualities you admire such as love, joy, peace, gratitude and curiosity; you can sing a song that puts you in touch with deep heartfelt feelings. Or, you can simply express a willingness to be open to the unknown. In any case, the Self and God-concepts (or lack there-of) that we bring to Lucid Surrender usually shatter like a glass jar in the dreams. The dreams can feel quite annihilative. Because of this, I would advise entering such lucid dreams with the support of a dream group, dream guide, and/or faith tradition as well as grounding work in the waking world.
At the moment of lucidity, you can make choices about what you will do. If you choose to acknowledge the Mystery that feels Other and yet your very self, grace can unlock your heart and mind, opening a gate to a magical mode of perception that you may usually perceive as locked, the gate into the depths of your heart. That‘s not to say there aren‘t other ways in or that Lucid Surrender will suit everyone, only that this way has worked for me. Sometimes, as in ‘The Golden Cloud Dream,’ once we‘ve taken the Lucid Surrender leap, the experience can feel the way the song ‘The Kiss’ by Judee Sill sounds.
Here‘s an excerpt:
Love, risin’ from the mists
Promise me this and only this
Holy breath touchin’ me
Like a wind song
Sweet communion of a kiss
Sun, siftin’ thru the grey
Enter in, reach me with a ray
Silently swoopin’ down
Just to show me
How to give my heart away.
Such dreams illuminate the hidden gold—the light—within us and enable us to share that light and reveal it in others. We may not become ideal human beings but at least we may move towards becoming more fully human and perhaps more patient and kind. This feels important not only for each of us as individuals but also collectively as a species on this planet.
Image by lmaresz from Pixabay
As a psychotherapist and counsellor, you work with a lot of people. Have you ever used lucid dreaming to assist with personal healing? Have lucid dreams given you insights into therapeutic practice?
As my capacity to hold the dreams expands, I note my capacity to hold life‘s complexities has awakened as well, though not perhaps proportionately because of my personal ‘ruts in the road.’ Nonetheless, I would venture to say that the work at the charity I direct, HELP Counselling Centre, which serves 150 clients each week— www.helpcounselling.com—and at the Dream Research Institute—www.driccpe.org.uk—has taken shape in tandem with the dreams.
Like dreams, therapeutic work provides mirroring for clients so that they can ‘see’ into themselves more lucidly, with new light, experiencing healing inwardly and outwardly. Dream work is a pivotal part of this process.
In the lucid dreams, I‘ve had the opportunity to receive healing not only for myself but also for people in the waking world, as well as for beings in other worlds. However, sadly, I have sometimes lacked the full capacity to do so. At the end of one such lucid dream, a Tibetan Buddhist, dream yoga teacher appears. He says that dreams unfold according to our capacity and what we bring to them. But a person can build up their capacity for the dreams—both to give and receive. That feels a capacity the dreams continue to develop in me for their own ends.
In the last issue of LDE, we had an interview and articles on lucid dreamers accessing unknown information (i.e., esp) in lucid dreams. Have you had lucid dreams that provided you with unknown information that you later validated?
Yes. The dreams feel about ‘unknown’ information both as it relates to the waking and dream worlds as well as to ‘Knowing’ itself. However, because the oracle of dreams speaks in signs, symbols, and subtle feelings, it may take some time for me to recognize the psychic aspects.
I include seven typical examples:
1) letters with written information
2) paintings portraying guidance
3) visual metaphors, in one case, for how to raise £10,000 in 10 days for the charity I direct when in a financial bind
4) Meaningful number sequences
5) Verbal guidance
6) Teachings transmitted via beams, chords, or ‘quanta’ of light
7) Teachings transmitted by Holy beings from different Wisdom Traditions through touch or presence. Additionally, many of the dreams explore the nature of light and our relationship to it as well as other dimensions of being, a kind of experiential quantum physics!
In some lucid dreams, you report encounters with benevolent, seemingly divine beings, who appear to guide you or help you, ranging from angelic to historic spiritual figures. Do you believe these encounters deal with aspects of yourself, or archetypal forces, as a Jungian might? Or do you feel that these entities sometimes have an existence independent of your own?
The choice ‘Or all of the above’ works here, but fundamentally, these holy beings appear to me as embodiments of Light‘s attributes: Truth, Compassion, Clarity, Wisdom and Beauty. If we return to the idea of mirrors, such holy beings reflect and emanate more clearly the attributes of the Divine. In the dreams, they exist independently, as well as in relation to one another. And, much to my surprise, in relation to me, too. A dream excerpt from January 2012 speaks to this more clearly:
Three Holy Beings
In waking life, work has felt very intense. Almost as a symbol of this, one of the toilets breaks down creating quite a mess. In the night, deep prayers move me. Spontaneously, I ask to be taken to the realm where spiritual beings dwell to learn from them. I‘d be honoured to meet any one such being, but long to meet with Jesus, Ibn Arabi, and Elisha. Although Jesus has appeared a few times in nonlucid and lucid dreams, it hasn‘t ever occurred to me that I might ask for this.
When I fall asleep, I dream the toilet at work appears backed up again. But then I realize this must be a dream! With lucidity, the ecstatic black winds take hold of my being….The journey continues with sharp sudden changes that disorientate me until a sung version of a psalm springs to mind: ‘You are my hiding place, you always fill my heart with songs of deliverance whenever I feel afraid I will trust in you, I will trust in you, let the weak say I am strong in the strength of your love.’
Finally, I pop into a space full of beings wearing solid, coloured robes. They open a path between them leading to a quiet space where three men in coloured robes sit expectantly. I know who they are. They exude a holy wisdom and seem to be awaiting me. Amidst their deep holiness, humanity, intelligence and love, I feel their interest and attentiveness…A sense of deep, timeless communion arises among us….
Upon waking, I remain taken aback at the power that simply asking for something holds and struck by how a backed up toilet framed this dream! While the light of guidance may take embodied forms, I‘d say that the dreams themselves are the guides, acting like lanterns to light our path.
In lucid dreams, I have also experienced some rather ‘unholy’ beings—some of them feel like aspects of my mind and disperse when recognized as such; others feel like they exist independently and disperse when I call on the holy names of Gabriel, Jesus, or Elohim.
You share some incredible lucid dreams at your website www.luciddreamalchemy.com. Could you tell us a bit about your website?
Thanks for mentioning the website. I launched the site in 2008 as an attempt to ground and share the dreams—like sending out a SETI signal. A few people have responded. I look back fondly at that site, the way I imagine the Hubble Space Craft must look back at our solar system.
Image by Ondřej Šponiar from Pixabay
I know you have written academic books. Do you plan to write a book on lucid dreaming? Any idea on the theme or a possible title?
The dreams have said to ‘Finish the book’ and I feel aware I haven‘t.
In my early twenties, a literature professor introduced me to John Sanford‘s Dreams: God‘s Forgotten Language, apart from the Bible, my first book on dreams. I so admired Sanford‘s work that I sent him a copy of a dream whose strange beauty had haunted me, asking him for help. Dr Sanford kindly rang and told me that based on the dream he thought I ought to work with dreams and write. I‘ve taken twenty some years to follow his guidance and now it feels the time has come to do so. As a title, perhaps something after a quote by the physicist Ed Witten, Lucid Surrender: The Mystery of the Matrix.
Thanks for agreeing to do an interview with the LDE. Any parting comments for lucid dreamers reading this?
Thank you for the invitation. I have appreciated your thoughtful questions.
To paraphrase the poet Hafiz, I hope Lucid Surrender dreams show LDE readers the ‘astonishing light of their own being.‘ Please let me know about your experiences via [email protected]. I look forward to meeting some LDE readers at the June IASD conference, where I hope to talk on light in lucid dreams and Transpersonal Will. Thank you for this opportunity to shed some light on the subject of Lucid Surrender.
