By Albert Lauer © 2016
Before my mother eventually died, she came to say goodbye in a lucid dream. I was still in bed although I had woken up early in the morning at the first light. I usually prefer not to completely wake up immediately, so I remained focused at the inner side of reality. Eventually I dozed off again and drifted slowly out of my body with my awareness at the low level necessary to fall asleep. The sense of the presence of my mother raised my lucidity. I was aware of floating outside of my body. The perception of the room was less relevant and out of phase with the image of my mother.
My mother however, was clearly visible, appearing in a form that I only know from old photographs when I was very young. Her hair again black, cut short in a fashionable sixties look, wearing winged butterfly glasses and fully dressed as if on her way to a glamour party. I was really happy to see my mother so fresh and alive. Such a difference from the deplorable state she was actually in at the time. She explained that she had come to say goodbye. We hugged intensely for much longer than we had ever done as mother and son and I cried, while being happy to be so close to my mother. I still sensed with her an aura of the tiredness that she was enduring physically, but she seemed not deeply affected by it.
My mother‘s life still dragged on for a full year of mental and physical degradation after that dream episode. You may have guessed that I woke up minutes later, thinking she had died that same night. And in a sense maybe she did, because the physical state my mother was in, no longer allowed for much expression of her personality. Seth, in the works of Jane Roberts mentions that dying maybe a gradual process and that indeed sometimes the larger part of a personality would have already left. I totally expected my mother to appear in later dreams in that same younger form, but to date she never did.
Before my mother eventually died, the only other dreams I had of her were of a telepathic nature, or a resonance of her state of mind. She was crying and whining a lot during a certain period, unable to express herself otherwise. Visiting my mother several times a week, I had become sensitive to her state. I would catch myself whining as she did not only in several dreams, but sometimes also during the day. As if I could cope with far less than I normally can. I mention these dreams here for completeness.
In the early morning that my mother died, I did not have a dream, or an experience, or even a hint. My father however had quite an interesting experience the night after her passing away.
He told us that he woke up three times of hearing the doorbell ringing, or maybe – he thought – it had been the telephone. My father is hard of hearing and he would not even hear the doorbell when upstairs and awake. After ignoring the first ringing he climbed out of bed in the middle of the night to find nobody at the door and no missed call on the display of his phone.
As soon as he was comfortably in bed again he heard the ringing once more. This time he was still awake and it was clear to him that it did not resemble the doorbell or the telephone. Surprised he opened his eyes and was even more astounded to hear his name two times, once short and once long.
My father dismissed out of hand that my mother had visited him to call his name from the beyond, but we know him to be uneasy over the topic, ever as I had brought it up in the past. (Recently he asked me how she was doing, though, and glad to hear she was alright.)
It took about a week after her death before my mother appeared to me in a dream. I was lucid when I met my mother, walking in some insignificant dream street and very happy to see her. About the same moment I met her, somebody else tried to get my attention. My mother and I had not even had the change to say hello, still several meters away, so I promptly asked the man to come back later. When I had turned my attention to blow off the man, I sensed the sadness of my mother, as she interpreted my turning away as the end of our rendezvous. She was so glad when I returned my attention to her. Her first words, exalted through her tears were: “The first real reunion of mother and son!” Quite dramatic. We walked and talked for a while and it was a beautiful and loving experience for the both of us.
My mother is quite active in her afterlife and appears in dreams of all of our family-members. She reportedly cuddles with my father, goes shopping with my sister and most notably she has already on two occasions asked her granddaughter to say hello to my sister. Imagine that! My bright and lovely niece, then a little over four years old, had remembered to do so when her mother left for work in the morning: “Oh mom, dead grandma says hello again.”
One of my mother‘s deliberate actions concerned a message she brought me. I was slowly waking up, in my favorite style, wordless and deeply concentrated. I had not instantly noticed my mother‘s energy mixing with mine a bit. When she started to formulate words in my ear, I realized she was already there for some time. I did not startle as you may expect. Over the years when my lucidity grew, I learned not to react too much to changes – many experiences will be instantly ruined when you scare or get excited.
My mother had apparently prepared herself well in delivering the message and maybe that‘s why it came out a bit theatrical.
I don‘t think this message means that everyone who died is now fully satisfied, but my mother wanted me to know that she was relieved from the many worries she had taken upon herself during her life and that she was happy. Resistance is for the living.
Not in all the dreams I had about my mother recently I have been lucid and I even do not always remember my lucid dreams. I also noticed that my mother was not always very lucid when I met her. Sometimes she was involved in inexplicable symbolic actions and her words did not make much sense to me. She was apparently dreaming an ordinary dream.
One dream in which I was lucid helped my understanding of life after death a little more. I remember sitting on a bench with my mother, quite relaxed and chatting as mother and son. I was fully lucid and aware of my mother’s recent death, as was she. Her father and mother were also in the scene, dancing together a few meters away from us. I sensed something of a distance between my grandmother and my mother and asked her about it.
“Do you speak to her often, now you both are dead?”
“Nah,” my mother said, “She is not like that.” Stating it as a fact and she did not seem to mind it much. When I asked her about the contact with her father she said: “Oh yes, we see each other quite a lot.”
My mother did not seem to speak with a physical voice in that dream, more with a hollow sound-effect, as my own voice did on the occasions that I consciously practiced speaking and shouting in my dreams.
Although I have wept many tears after my mother’s death as an expression of the love I feel for her, her death has by no means been the end of our relationship. It has even allowed for a deeper connection, without much of the usual worries she had for me. That aspect of our relation had already developed when my mother was at the end of her life unable to consider or express these worries.
I will conclude with one last significant occasion, about twenty-five years ago already. For a short while I was back at my parent‘s house. Usually late at night, when I was still in the living room, my mother would urge me strongly to go to bed. That particular evening, she quietly came to wish me goodnight, calm and lovingly. Much to my surprise, about twenty minutes later she appeared to me in a transparent dream-form. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her quietly watching me at about three meters distant in the opening of the door to the living room.
I turned my head and got a better look, but that startled her, as if she didn‘t expect me to see her and she ran off, probably back to her bedroom. My mother in out-ofbody form wore her light-blue nightgown. I could see my mother in great detail, although I could also see right through her. She may not have been visible to other people. At that time my perception had already increased a lot due to my improved inner silence.