Shaun St. Clair – Werewolf Awareness 1 in Lucid Dreaming

This was an absolutely excellent, very vivid and real dream in which I experience lucidity and several forms of simultaneous awareness, including simultaneously experiencing the whole of the dream both in the first person and as an onlooker:

I’m in an elevated house built on the slopes of a large forest, standing on the wooden veranda, expectantly looking out at the forest, at dusk. I have a human wife (Elizabeth) and I am a werewolf! I’m unsettled, because even though I feel very powerful and confident, I’m sure that the ‘pack-leader’ is now, or at least sometime soon will be, coming for me and at the very least will attempt to kill me. I have the feeling, a sixth sense, that he’s already set off in pursuit.

These senses and feelings are very innate: a pack-leader is part of the natural law; I accept it without thought—that is how it is. Somehow I have crossed the ‘werewolf law’ and I have the same innate awareness of its consequences: the pack-leader will be coming to punish me.

[Whilst I was fully aware in the dream of what I had done ‘wrong’, now I can’t remember exactly what it was but there are several possibilities milling round the edges of my memory: is it having a human wife…did I kill and eat another wolf, or a human that I shouldn’t have (I have vague images of something like this)…or maybe I am not a natural born werewolf and was turned by another and as such am by another and, as such, I am subject to additional laws?] 

However, I have no intention of accepting any consequences willingly, and so I jump over the veranda balcony and run in to the forest. There is no time to tell Elizabeth I’m going but I know the pack-leader will not bother with her, he just wants me. I begin to run through the trees away from the house, it’s completely dark now but I can see perfectly well. And I’m just in time because I see him, the pack-leader, a very large, strong and fast wolf running on two legs down the slope of the wooded hill past my house and directly at me. I continue to run, also on two legs, still confident in my own abilities but fully aware that he is a very big and strong wolf and is probably far too close now NOT to catch me.

With this thought in mind I, the sleeping/dreaming me (not me the werewolf and not me the onlooker), decide that ‘I’ would be much faster running on all four legs and in an instant ‘I’ am inside the werewolf—three awarenesses are present simultaneously, two of which are now inside the werewolf and one of which is the dreaming ‘me’. Finding myself lucid at the instant I’m flung inside the body of the werewolf, I am fully conscious of the fact that I’m dreaming and I’m equally fully aware of what is now ‘my’ situation within the dream. I have just commandeered the body of a werewolf whose consciousness—the consciousness of one of my own dream characters—is still in there with me. I am aware of all of this, but the situation is so exciting and so exhilarating that I don’t dwell on it, don’t analyse it and don’t even consider trying to change it.

I’m inside the body of a large and powerful wolf thundering through a forest and instantly finding itself unbalanced and in the process of falling forwards on to all four legs—an action that ‘I’ now have to orchestrate and manoeuvre in such a way as to not only prevent this huge body from cartwheeling into the nearest tree but also to transition as efficiently as possible so as not to lose any forward momentum and not to give my pursuer any advantage!

So, I fall forward and onto all four legs, but this happens only slowly and somewhat clumsily—because the sleeping/dreaming me hasn’t actually run on four legs before, but I can manage it and I do, though not as efficiently as I would have hoped. I feel tremendously excited and liberated but, realising the enormity of what I have taken on, ‘I’ quickly relinquish control of the body back to the werewolf and the sleeping ‘me’ disappears [~loses lucidity?].

The werewolf—which is still me but no longer contains the sleeping me as well—now plunges forwards on all four legs, through the forest and emerges into a clearing which turns out to be the t a r m a c k e d surface of a motorway. The pack-leader finally catches up with me on the motorway and as I accept the inevitability of the situation, I release my frustration and anger—but also c l e a r myself manoeuvring space for the coming battle by wheeling round onto an oncoming car, more than happy to attack it. But the car swerves away from me and I clearly see the terrified driver inside the lighted cab. It’s the middle of the night now and this driver was just unlucky – there are no other vehicles around.

In the same way that I knew and innately understood the position, expectations and behaviour of the pack-leader, I innately understand my own behaviour, position and expectations. There is no thought process drawing me to these conclusions or developing my feelings, they are just there. I just know that I didn’t submit to the ‘werewolf law’; it would have meant my death and that cannot happen, not least because I have a human wife. The pack-leader and I will dual until one of us is dead and the victor gains superiority over the pack; I just know this and I know that the pack leader knows this. I know what the pack -leader feels because he feels the same as I do, he has the same innate knowledge [I’m explaining this very badly but in the dream this hierarchy and expectation was very innate, in the same way that a dog’s behaviour within the pack is just known to it.]

I am more aware of my surroundings now, I see that there is some kind of service station or motorway café beside the road, casting its dull yellow light over the proceedings. It is full of spectating werewolves. Elizabeth is amongst them and she pulls me towards her. She is different; I am not innately aware of her feelings as I am with the other werewolves (is this why I married her?). 

But when I am beside her now, another awareness comes in to being, a third simultaneous awareness again, and this one provides me with the feelings and emotions being experienced by Elizabeth. As her emotions crescendo it shows me visions of her changing physiology (blood, pulsating pink mass, heart). I ‘know’ that she wants me to bite her, infect her and change her into a werewolf, because if I die now she will be on her own and she wants to be part of the pack or to have a part of me. But I never wanted to turn her, and I still don’t, and so she is deliberately riling me and making me angry in an attempt to provoke an attack. And even though I’m aware of her feelings and I know what she is thinking I eventually cannot control my anger and I bite her neck . . . at which point I wake up!