Peter Maich – Mini Death to Experience the Field in Lucid Dreaming
Just home from a 1000k drive to take my kids back and had about 5 strong cups of coffee during the 12 hour round trip so it‘s now 00:30 and I decide to take 8mg of Galantamine and go for broke.
I am now in bed and have been waiting for around 40 minutes, that‘s the normal time for it to start working. The first few pings and twinges are now arriving and it‘s time to get serious.
WILD: One instant of observation and I am there, into the place. So fast I can‘t say it‘s a dream. Too quick and too fast, just there in mind space but how would I know where I am.
I deal to all the low level stuff, play around, and chat to a few people. I don‘t try to sharpen up the dream senses as I don‘t want a clear imitation of reality this time so I don‘t exercise control and let it all stay a bit dim. I want to be un-grounded. I don‘t want a hyped up human experience – plenty of that during the day.
I want to feel as a tree, be a tree, live as a tree, bond, be, feel and exist as a tree, so I ask, and I prime by letting go and then feeling for what is around me.
I see trees dimly around me, feel their life and they give me parts of themselves, hunks of branch and trunk, matter full of life. I take this in my hands, feel for it and let it be absorbed and it hurts. My hands and arms swell, I get strong and feel growth, a powerful swelling, life flowing but it‘s not enough. It‘s just feeling, not being, and I want more.
I now see a big old tree nearby and I lay against the trunk and ask to be part of the living tree. The answer is that it can‘t assimilate me into itself so I give and accept a small death to lose human awareness and let the process begin.
I now lean in and again ask to be in and of the tree, the collective that is living energy and I lean back harder and start to be absorbed. I have long since lost ‘me‘ and there is no awareness of being human. It is all energy and matter. A thousand, million trillion cells all active and connected.
An awareness of life without any me, a spark among this field of energy that joins the cells. The energy not the cells. The geometric pattern, living and moving and flowing is not the life, just the expression of it and energy precedes matter. I get this in some way and experience being part of this living field.
I accept the mini death that is life in another form and experience it without senses. (Total dream time approx. 80 minutes)
This was an incredible experience, the letting go was difficult as it really felt like a small death and the transition was full of snakes of energy nipping and invading. In the past, the feeling during the transition has haunted me for most of my life as it is so invasive and could make me whimper in my dreams and take me out with a sweaty clammy wake up. A horrid invasive fizzing up the spine and a feeling like it will rip out, it is so intense. I feel really happy that this barrier is now broken and that I can explore in what I hope are deeper levels of mind.
The feeling of being part of the living field of energy is so hard to describe, no send of physical self but feeling of living and connection that lasts well beyond the dream. I will leave it here as I don‘t have words to do it justice.