Maxwell Hunter – The Voices in Lucid Dreaming
As a voice hearer, I have struggled most of my life trying to make sense of my experiences. I‘ve had doctors tell me that I have psychosis and then after years of therapy and medication they‘ve turned around and said that actually they have no idea what ‘disorder’ or ‘condition’ I have.
I‘ve had a lot of spiritual people tell me that I‘m connecting with beings from another plane of existence, and that I have some kind of special ability. Every path that I have explored has provided me with some good points, but nothing has ever given me a solid understanding of what I experience. Except for one.
I‘ve been lucid dreaming for a few years now and, initially, I got into it because I wanted to live out my fantasies and just have fun. I never took much interest in people who said it could be used for personal growth. I didn‘t believe it could provide me with anything important until I decided to seek out my voices in my dreams.
The voices I experience have been with me for a long time. I do sometimes see them as well, but for the most part they appear as voices. I know what they look like, what they sound like, when their birthdays are, what their favourite things are, and what their histories are. To me it just feels like I‘m having conversations with friends which is what they have become for me. Even though I‘ve had my theories about them, I figured the only way I would get a genuine answer was to ask my subconscious.
I decided the first voice I would try and find was Scott, a voice that has always been very supportive towards me. I became lucid not long after I had set this intention.
In the dream, I was in my house and a man and a woman were trying to break in. I tend to have a lot of nightmares about people breaking into my house and these often lead to me becoming more aware and, thus, lucid. When I realised it was a dream, I let the man and woman into the house and told them to take whatever they wanted as it wasn‘t real. They both stared at me confused and I walked past them into the street.
As I was walking along, I remembered my intention to find Scott. I thought about him and said his name a few times out loud. I turned the corner onto the next street and could see a blurry figure behind a transparent wall. I approached it and tried to talk to Scott but I couldn‘t get past this wall. I recall seeing the words ‘Access Denied’ so I took this to mean that I wasn‘t ready to find him yet.
I continued to have similar dreams where I just couldn‘t reach him, but with each dream I got closer and closer. I managed to get close to him on a few occasions but I would forget the questions I wanted to ask.
After maybe a month or two of trying, I finally got the answers. I dreamt I was in a house trying to change into some new clothes, but they kept disappearing and reappearing somewhere else.
I knew this was strange and this made me realise it was a dream. I walked around the house for a bit, just looking at everything and trying to engage all my senses when I remembered about Scott.
I walked into the next room and found him there. I asked him straight away what he represents and why he is here. He said that he represented confidence and he was a part of me that I had never been able to express. He said he was all the things that I wanted to be. I had considered this theory before, but hearing it like this made it all seem so clear. Scott looks the way I want to look, and is able to approach and handle situations the way I wish I could. He‘s confident and friendly and everybody likes him. This dream really helped me to understand that.
Scott still exists to this day. I don‘t think he will ever go away and I don‘t want him to. The same goes for my other voices. I had a great upbringing, but spent most of my childhood in my own world because I had the ability to make myself see things that I was daydreaming about, like my thoughts were projected over reality.
Perhaps this was an overactive imagination, but seeing as I‘ve spent most of my life in another world, I don‘t think my emotions really developed properly, making it harder for me to deal with ‘real’ life problems as I got older. This meant my mind had to create characters or personalities for the things I couldn‘t deal with.
I have my theories on the other voices and what they represent, but I plan on finding them all in my dreams and getting to the root of this.
I can honestly say that no doctor, no pills, and no books have ever been able to give me this kind of insight and support.