Lynda S – Facing the Shadow of Fear in Lucid Dreaming
July 6th, 2014 (3 days prior to my birthday): I found myself in what looked like a palace of white alabaster or marble. It reminded me of Greece or an old landscape. It was beautiful. There were columns from the floor to the ceiling and they were quite beautiful. I was very curious and began to look around. As I approached the third column, a tall shadowy figure stepped in front of me. It looked to be about 6 feet tall, like a person, but very blurry as it moved. My immediate “dream thought” was whether or not it was a person. It did not move, but there was so much contrast to the dreamscape of beauty and this shadowy figure that I immediately thought, “I must be dreaming” (became lucid).
Afterwards, it began to move towards me and stop. I had another “dream thought”: “What is this?” There was almost an immediate response, “This is your fear.” After this realization, I made the conscious choice to move towards it. I put my arms out and moved towards it to give it a hug. As I hugged this shadowy being, I recall seeing the blackness of space (as in meditation) and as soon as I began to merge with it, my fear increased and I began to wrestle with the shadow. I heard a voice say, “Surrender”.
I opened my arms again and let go. In this moment, I felt a charge of heat in my body, from my chest all the way down my arms and legs. It was electric. I immediately awoke and realized that both arms had a rash from the inside of my arms down to my wrists.
Post dream journal notes: I had an immediate realization that this was the same rash that I had at age 12 and that plagued me in the year 2000, when I chose to leave my corporate career. It had been intermittent from 2000 to 2008, during periods of stress, when I had the self realization that my “control issues” stemmed from a pattern of “survival” that I became conditioned to in my early childhood years. I felt liberated and free. The rash stayed for about 3-5 days without any rumination or fixation on my part. I simply accepted it. I have not had a rash since.