Lucy Gillis – ‘Through Which the Awareness Will Speak’ in Lucid Dreaming
I can‘t recall what specifically triggered lucidity – it may be the earlier part of the dream in which I‘m in the area of an old neighbour, but the landscape is not right somehow. It is like a version of the actual‘ landscape, but the spatial relationships to other buildings are not correct. I comment on this to others who are in the scene. . . . When I become lucid I just want to fly and glide around a bit – stretch my wings‘ so to speak.
When I return to ground again, my friend S. is there, and we are now standing among several people. I know that she would really like to have a lucid dream, but has not been able to do it yet. My own lucidity is not the clearest, but I do want to help her have a lucid dream. I make an attempt to ask the awareness behind the dream a question. Or rather, I instruct S., to ask the dream a question.‘ I then gesture to the people around us and continue with, ―The answer will come from one of these people, through which the awareness‘ (behind the dream) will speak.
She doesn‘t respond right away, and I feel anxious that we may miss this opportunity (by waking too soon), so I ask the people/awareness‘ ―Why does S. have difficulty in having a lucid dream?
I wait expectantly, looking at the dream figures. Within seconds, one who looks like W., steps forward and says something like, ―She greets the initial idea with eagerness and enthusiasm, but then sabotages the outcome by trying to orchestrate or direct events through a controlled or limited expectation and anticipation of how she thinks they should be.
As if to demonstrate the need for flexibility, W. then complains that he has had to stay later‘ than usual. (In waking reality, W. is a creature of rigid habit, is very resistant to change, and gets a bit out of sorts when even the smallest alteration is imposed‘ upon him.)
I then know (telepathically?, there is no audible voice) that W. continues with something like, ―When events go off-schedule, or people don‘t behave in the way she wants/expects, it throws her, and a sort of inner friction upsets and hinders the original eagerness. The frustration felt then becomes a defensive reflex, that sets up resistance, blocking the execution of the desire.
Though I‘m still aware that I‘m dreaming, I grab a pen and paper that is conveniently nearby and write down what he has said. I know it won‘t be there in waking reality, but I believe the act and concentration of writing the information will help me recall the details when I wake. The paper morphs into a computer screen, and the monitor goes blank. With lucidity fading, I try to get the image back, so I can read it again and tell S. about it when I next talk with her.
I then wake, knowing the information given in the dream is as much a message to me as it is to S., but regarding more matters than just lucid dreaming.