Lucy Gillis – 45 Years Gone in Lucid Dreaming
[I believe that at times I must have been having two or more simultaneous dreams, as the order of events, and the events themselves, feel like a mash-up of several dreams. It is hard to put together. . .. ]
I am at a “School” with Dad. I go up to “his” floor. (He works there.) A man stops me at the foot of some stairs of a wide curving staircase, until I prove I’m Dad’s daughter, then he lets me by. On the upper floor are lots of kids eating spaghetti and pizza, it seems to be some kind of ‘spaghetti and pizza day’. K is there and I hang out with her for a few minutes.
At some point I am also with another woman, running, and we “hide.” We then go to Dad’s office by entering a strange elevator that ‘never gets to the sixth floor.’ Then she is driving a car. I get worried, as I should let Dad know where I am, so I ask her to take me to the church, I’ll phone him from there.
But then I suddenly realize it’s a dream. To prove it to the woman, I push my hand through the glass windshield, then my head, then my upper body. The other woman still won’t believe it. She is now a passenger, in the passenger seat. I tell her to look at the driver’s seat, for there are two of her now—she’s driving and she is also sitting in the passenger’s seat.
We get to the church area. I find M is there, and that she appears a bit older than she should be. It seems that I have been missing for 45 years. Dad searched for me for years, even a movie was made about my disappearance, and a trust or a foundation [set up in my name, but my name was different in this dream] or something like that had been set up, to find me. I am shocked and deeply saddened by what he must have gone through—I had no idea, as my time away was only days, maybe a week. But here, 45 years have passed, and my Dad had suffered through them.
Lucidity fades as I become very upset. M looks at a calendar and tells me again that I’ve been 45 years gone. Only recently Dad had gotten married, moved to the States and now lives in Michigan or Minnesota area. I assume he had at last given up on finding me and had decided to move on with what remained of his life.
But also, the following scenes are happening while the above dream (dreams?) are in progress: I drive a big truck and park by another truck at the church. There are some locals there, (drunk?) that I don’t want to interact with. Lucid, I get out and fly/swim over a kind of landscape, almost like huge tiles or a grid.
I’m in a cluttered room with the woman (from the dream above). Rolls of carpets are stacked vertically along a wall. There is a large round hole in them, or in between them, that we go through. It is a portal of some kind. She wants to mark the place with something, so we will find it again. I’m intrigued by a puppet or doll that hangs in a corner of the ceiling. It bows back and forth, perhaps due to air currents.]
I’m also in another room. On a TV nearby, I can see fish swimming and getting air in underwater places. There is something about portals flowing through to Newfoundland. I go to wash my hands at a sink. I pick up some soap and vaguely remember that this is a dream when I see that the sink is gone.
I am deeply conflicted about contacting my father. On the one hand I want to assure him I am all right, I always was, but I didn’t know that time was passing differently here. But on the other hand, if he had somehow come to terms with the situation and was maybe finally finding some peace in his new life, would it be fair of me to upset all of that by showing up now? I wake, with the turbulent emotions still very strong. It takes a while to shake off the sorrowful, shocked mood of the dream.